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My Turkey Might Be Cursed


Brick Pig
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It occurred to me this week that I had two turkeys in my deep freeze, and when Thanksgiving rolls around my company will be giving me another one. My wife and I are not really wild about turkey, but I decided I need to cook at least one of these before the next one comes along, so earlier this week I told my neighbor I’d be delivering half a turkey to them tonight. 
 

I started prepping my bird yesterday, while I had a meatloaf smoking in the Joe. After one squirt, my kitchen syringe completely fell apart. I quickly drove over to the grocery store, but they didn’t have one. So I texted my wife, who then drove around and finally found one at Target. Meanwhile my injection, which was mostly butter, started solidifying. But of course it was easy enough to melt that back down when my wife got home, so ultimately no harm done.

 

Today, I put the turkey on the Big Joetisserie at around 1:00pm, and when I checked on it about an hour later, it had shifted enough on the spit so that the breast side was so much heavier, it wasn’t spinning all the way around. I know it was spinning when I first put it on, because I always watch a few turns any time I spin anything, but I have no idea how long it had been stuck on the half-spin when I discovered it. Anyway, I couldn’t correct for it, so I had to pull it, disassemble the Joetisserie, and set up for indirect. 

 

I’m assuming it’s going to turn out all right, and it looks pretty good now, roughly 15 - 20 degrees from done. But man, it’s been a lot of trouble for a meal we don’t really care for.

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21 minutes ago, BURGER MEISTER said:

I've actually met people that didn't care for chocolate.  To each his own.  We do anywhere from 3-5 turkeys a year, not counting Thanksgiving.  We Love it.

Funny you should say that. We’re not big fans of chocolate either. :shock:

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If you talk to a professional chef in a working restaurant they roast one whole turkey to display and then break down all of the others to cook the different parts as they should be cooked.  Cooking them whole is a exercise toward futility.

Edited by daninpd
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6 hours ago, fbov said:

Agreed. Especially if your family only wants white meat...


We have stopped buying whole turkeys.  Just not worth it.  We will buy from 2 to 5 bone-in, skin-on breasts then marinade them for 48 hours in Buttermilk and Garlic Brine before smoking them.  Family loves the meat and plenty left over for sammies. Not a major difference in price per pound and everyone is happy. Win/win/win.

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 9/8/2020 at 9:54 PM, JeffieBoy said:


We have stopped buying whole turkeys.  Just not worth it.  We will buy from 2 to 5 bone-in, skin-on breasts then marinade them for 48 hours in Buttermilk and Garlic Brine before smoking them.  Family loves the meat and plenty left over for sammies. Not a major difference in price per pound and everyone is happy. Win/win/win.

I forgot I posted about this.

 

Thing is, I don't ever buy turkey of any kind. As I said, neither my wife nor I care for it enough to seek it out.  But every year my company gives one to every employee at Thanksgiving. And as it happened, this past Thanksgiving, we got another free one because of points we'd earned at our grocery store.

 

To follow up on this particular cook, though, the bird turned out fine. I let it go just a shade longer than I would have wished, and the breast meat was not *quite* as juicy as it could have been. But my neighbors loved it, and my wife and I got two good meals out of it, plus some sandwiches for me to carry to work, and I froze some of it with the intention of making some turkey salad sometime soon. It was kind of a bungled day of cooking, but it turned out all right.

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With respect, got to say, I am definitely on the other side on this one. I just love to cook a brined and spatchcocked turkey every year. Truly one of the great traditions. I brine my bird in a food safe tub in the fridge with apple cider, orange juice, honey, kosher salt, sliced oranges, and herbs. I brine for 24 hours, and then let it air dry uncovered in the fridge overnight. Always comes out perfect, I pull at 165 in the breast. 

 

How can you say no to this?

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1 hour ago, len440 said:

Only thing wrong with deep fried and spatched cock on the grill is lack of the food group GRAVY

Yup, gravy definitely has a prime spot on our family food pyramid. I do up the neck, giblets, liver, and heart, with garlic and herbs,  in an aluminum foil pouch hobo pack and my wife adds choice pieces, and drippings to her gravy. I usually cook them up on my gasser, the day before Turkey day. store em in the fridge over night and prep them the next day. Takes some of the stress out of Turkey day.

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17 hours ago, keeperovdeflame said:

How can you say no to this?

 

Oh, don’t misunderstand; there are very VERY few foods I say no to. That bird looks fantastic, and I’d be right in line to get my serving. It’s just not one of my favorites. 

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